Lesson in Law

Quotes from the master.
He starts each law school class with the following:
I don't give lectures. The word is indicative of an authority on a subject, which when you think about it, is a claim of omnipotence. Rather, I postulate and expound. Nobody, as yet, has presented a successful tort and claimed recompense for those transgressions.
Lecturers are queried, harangued, and at times, ridiculed.
Postulating expounders are usually humored and offered a free beer. I do not claim omnipotence. Much the opposite. I claim human frailty. I revel in it.
From such a position, when one does not err, one finds oneself delighted. Ecstatic. Far too many graduate and go out into the world attempting to uphold the self-delusion they will ascend to near perfection.
In the legal game, generally speaking, there will be one winner and one loser. Thus, you are doomed. On the scale of averages you will lose about half the time. I would much rather send you forth into the void armed with excellence in mediocrity.
You won't find yourself let down nearly as often, be considered as a rule a more amiable person, and be the recipient of more free beer accordingly.
T. Gerald Gnome, atty. about law, Esq. Ret. RSVP, VUP (Very Unimportant Person),. Member in good sitting, East Tennessee Lard Allotment Society.
Other quotes from him: When in doubt, expound. When you run out of that, expand. Foresight is critical. Eventually you will run out of expand as surely as my Volvo runs out of a vast variety of liquids. Try to time the running out with potential court recesses. It should be kept in mind, the esteemed position of an attorney at law has many unique opportunities.
As example, public flatulence. You shall invariably find at times, few good plates of beans will win you sympathy and recesses where all the golden tongued eloquence of the world will fail.