SIGNS WITH LIFE

SIGNS

In a Veterinarian's Office "All unattended children will be given a free kitten"

Parking Lot outside Vet's office in Silverton, OR: "Parking for customers Only, all others will be neutered."

In a Veterinarians waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"

Plumber: "We repair what your husband fixed. Don't sleep with a drip."

Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

Door of a plastic surgeons office "We can help pick your nose."

Sign at the psychic's Hotline: "Don't call us, we'll call you."

At a Towing Company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

Billboard on the side of the road: "Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."

On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On Maternity Room Door: "Push, Push, Push."

At an Optometrist's Office "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

On a fence: "Salesmen welcome, dog food is expensive."

Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary, we'll hear you coming."

Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."

In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

In a counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional"